Seriously, Officer . . .

I only had moo tartinis.

In my cop days, I arrested a lot of drunks, none of whom had ever partaken of more than 2 beers or a single drink. The breathalyzer machines we used in the day had an analog scale that went from 0 to 5. I remember my instructor telling me of one documented case somewhere in Finland where a woman blew a .4 and lived to tell about it.

The highest I ever witnessed was a 3.1 and the guy actually drove pretty well. I thought he might have been borderline until he rolled down the car window -- almost knocked me over.

Now, we have a man in Rhode Island blowing a .491. A friggin .491!!

"A level of 0.30 is classified as stupor, 0.4 is comatose and 0.5 is considered fatal, according to the health department."

". . .he drove into a highway message board on Interstate 95 in Providence. After police arrived, Kobierowski had trouble getting out of the car, then grabbed it and refused to move"

Kobierowki is a rock star!! Not only can he drive a car after that much alcohol (albeit not well), he can exit one unassisted.

To quote the great Bill Murray in Stripes:

". . . you are a madman. I want to party with you, cowboy. If the two of us together, forget it."

Cheers